Pretending is Fun
by XPoeticallyxIncorrectX
Summary: Reality sucks. Love hurts. Sasuke learns more with each passing day. But things okay as long as he doesn't read too much into them. Everyone thinks he's crazy, but he's done seeing life as the sad thing it is. It's too boring. Pretending is way more fun.


He wakes up to get ready to meet him.

Beauty is a long and grueling process.

He was told that he was beautiful. Not by the person he loves, but by several admirers. Many people would die to be him, or at least be _with_ him. He had a lot going for him in the physical appearance department; a slender, borderline feminine figure, smoldering dark eyes, high cheekbones, lengthy eyelashes, and perfect skin.

Their standards do not count.

He wants to hear his lover tell him how much he thinks he is beautiful.

It won't happen.

But he can still dream.

* * *

Gaara didn't see the young Uchiha as anything outside of a precious fuck toy.

He thought it was adorable that Sasuke would do anything for him. Sasuke follows him like a lost puppy. The feeling is amazing. Gaara likes stringing people along, especially if the sex is good. He'll never admit out loud, but Sasuke is the best he's ever slept with.

Sasuke's a precious gem.

Gaara doesn't appreciate his value.

Gaara doesn't care.

Because it's not like Sasuke will leave him.

* * *

Is it worth it?

He couldn't stop himself from asking that question several times. Nothing about what he was doing was morally right. But he didn't care about morals. He wanted to be happy. He wanted to live life without restrictions. Moreover, he wanted to make the love of his life happy.

To experience pleasure, there has to be pain.

His pain comes from gravel digging into his knees, a hand gripping his hair, and a dick shoved down his throat.

At the end of it, all he received was a half-hearted thanks.

Love hurts.

* * *

Sasuke always hated walking to the bus stop at night. It reminds him too much that what he and Gaara have will never venture past sex. Life is easier when he is able to pretend. He pretends Gaara is his; that he doesn't have to go through this every night, that Gaara genuinely loves him, and that they would have a stable future together.

His friends swear he's crazy.

His brother thinks he's a fool.

But none of it matters to Sasuke because he's long since realized two of the fundamental facts of life.

Pretending is fun.

Reality sucks.

* * *

It wasn't a rare sight for police cars and emergency personnel to litter the street in front of his apartment. Most times its just because of domestic disputes, fights between drunk neighbors, noise complaints, someone getting stuck in an elevator, or someone dying.

Sasuke found all of those incidences annoying, but they could be dealt with in half an hour. This problem was much worse.

The whole building was up in flames.

Instead of having the streets light up with blue and red lights, there was the intense red-orange flames, consuming the gray building.

Sasuke found the sight oddly pleasant, even though he's watching his all of his possessions burn to ash.

He has several people who would happily take him in, but he doesn't want any of them to. He just wants one person.

This fire is the perfect excuse to see Gaara.

* * *

Sasuke shows up on the man's doorstep unsure of how he would react.

Gaara answers the door with a speculative look on his face.

"My place burned down, and I don't have anywhere else to go. So can I stay with you...just for tonight." It was an unwritten rule that he was to never spend the night at Gaara's place. He was hoping that rule would be broken, considering his current home situation.

Gaara looks at him with an undecipherable gaze. People say that Gaara is a compassionate guy. Apparently, he is the type of person who would take a bullet for his loved ones and goes out of his way to ensure that they were happy. Sasuke has never seen that side of Gaara.

He desperately wants to.

Sasuke considers begging, but then a miracle happens.

"...Sure."

The fact that Sasuke would have to sleep with him in exchange was left unsaid.

* * *

There was so much Sasuke wanted to ask the man he loves. But he knew where the boundaries were between them. Really there was no point in him being here. It was just a desperate act on his part; one that Gaara does not pay any mind to.

He sits up, ignoring the voices in his mind telling him conflicting things. Gaara wasn't anywhere in sight, which gave him the courage to get out of bed. He takes a few reluctant steps toward the door, his heart pounding harder with each step.

A part of him wanted to stay in spite of the obvious notion that Gaara does not want him there.

One day, he'll grow up and realize his place in the world.

"Where are you going?"

Sasuke bites his lip, unsure of what excuse he should use.

If he were just a bit more mature, he would have been honest.

But he settled for telling the man he needed to go to the bathroom.

* * *

Gaara knew Sasuke was lying. He finds the situation funny.

The Uchiha has spent the past few months trying to get their relationship to move toward something meaningful. This one night might prove beneficial their relationship. However, the one night Gaara allows him to stay, he wants to leave.

"You want to leave." It was definite a statement; there was no reason to ask because the answer was obvious.

Well sort of.

"No..._you _want me to leave." He corrects, crossing his arms and looking away from the man.

Gaara grasps the teen by the chin and forces their eyes to meet. "I want you to stay." A playfully dangerous smirk adorned his lips.

Sasuke desperately searched the man's teal eyes for sincerity and truth. He smiles, when he realizes Gaara really does want him there.

In truth, Gaara was just getting sick of fucking the teen in the backseat of his car. Being in his apartment made him think of all the fun positions he could have Sasuke in.

Tonight will be a good night for at least one of them.

* * *

Things started off decidedly slow for Sasuke. It was a pleasant change from what he's used to. Gaara has never been into foreplay or kissing, but he figured he would spoil Sasuke.

Sasuke felt self-conscious under the piercing gaze of the man he loves. He tried to convince himself that he was beautiful, regardless of what Gaara may think. Gaara would never tell Sasuke how attractive he thinks he is, because Gaara wasn't one for complimenting.

His calloused hands held the teen's hips with a gentle grace, almost as if he was handling glass. He could see the nervousness peering through the Uchiha's eyes. The teen looked like a frightened child trying to be brave. It didn't help that Gaara's wicked smirk never left his face.

The man leans in close, biting down hard on the sensitive spot on his neck. He drew blood. Sasuke arched into the redhead and moaned.

After tormenting the Uchiha for a bit longer, he crushes their lips together with fervent desire. Sasuke responds with confidence; ignoring the taste of his own blood on the other man's lips. He willingly surrenders control as the man's tongue forces its way into his mouth. The teen's head was spinning as the warm appendage caressed every inch of his mouth.

Sasuke wonders if any of this is real.

* * *

Their bodies move together in abrasive harmony. Gaara drills into the teen with reckless abandon, forgetting that Sasuke couldn't handle him at his most sexually deprived state. His only concern was getting closer to his own climax.

Sasuke's body was jerked around to suit Gaara's needs. The redhead didn't care that his girth was practically tearing Sasuke apart. The blood pooling between Sasuke's milky thighs only made him thrust harder. Gaara didn't register the change in Sasuke's vocals.

In the back of his mind, Sasuke knew the situation was wrong. Sex is something that everyone involved is supposed to enjoy. As much as he loved being with the love of his life, he didn't love how he gets treated by him. The urge to stop the man is strong, but he's afraid.

"Gaara..." He breathes. Before he could finish his sentence, Gaara's lips silence him with a rough kiss.

When Gaara repeatedly strikes the sensitive bundle of nerves within him, all doubt is cast aside. It didn't take long for him to reach his desperately needed release. His mind has gotten to the point where he can successfully convince himself that this was love making.

After Gaara came, he shoved the Uchiha away.

* * *

He was discarded at the bus stop as if he was a piece of trash.

He feels sore all over. There was a sharp pain, particularly in his lower body when he sat up.

Gaara didn't even have the decency to place him on the bench.

He is beginning to feel sick.

His reflection in the glass doesn't make him feel any better. He wants to throw up.

School will start in a few minutes.

He decides he isn't going to go. No one is going to miss him, and the work isn't difficult in the slightest sense. Sometimes he feels that he is too smart for school.

Now if only that could translate into everyday life.

* * *

Sasuke offered the man so much.

His heart; he loves the man so much that he would throw his own life away if it would make Gaara happy.

His mind; even a blind man could see that he was nothing more than a puppet.

His body; which is only used for sexual relief.

And his soul; Sasuke's devotion knows no bounds.

What does he get in return?

Nothing.

* * *

None of his friends really liked Gaara in the first place. He gave off a harsh vibe that was tangible to everyone but Sasuke. None of them bothered with saying "_I told you so"_, because it was unnecessary. Everyone says that it would be best for him to stay away from Gaara.

At first, Sasuke agreed. He didn't want to be with someone who treats him like dirt. He deserves better than that.

Within a month, his opinion changed.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

* * *

Love makes people desperate.

Unrequited love makes rational thinking a foreign concept, especially when it's so deep.

What Sasuke feels for Gaara goes past the point of irrationality.

He knows Gaara will never love him. There is no meaningful future between them.

And yet, he was standing in front of him, ready to offer him the universe.

Gaara cracked a smile, loving the effect he has on the Uchiha. "Kid, you're only gonna get your heart broken."

"I know." He whispers.

Sasuke decides, he doesn't care as long as he can keep pretending.


End file.
